Sixth Notebook – Paragraphs 1781-1790
Pentecost [June 5, 1938]. Renewal of Vows.
1781. I got up much earlier than usual and went to the chapel, steeping myself in the love of God. Before receiving Holy Communion, I silently renewed my religious vows. After Holy Communion, the infinite love of God swept over me. My soul was in communion with the Holy Spirit, who is the same Lord as the Father and the Son. His breath filled my soul with such delight that it would be useless for me to try to give even a faint idea of what my heart experienced. Throughout the whole day, wherever I was and regardless of with whom I talked, a vivid presence of God accompanied me; my soul was drowned in thanksgiving for these great graces.
1782. + When I went out to the garden today, the Lord said to me, Return to your room, for I will be waiting for you there. As soon as I returned, I saw the Lord Jesus, sitting at the table and waiting for me. He looked at me kindly and said, My daughter, I want you to write now, because that walk would not have been in conformity with My will. I remained alone and immediately got down to writing.
1783. + When I immersed myself in prayer and united myself with all the Masses that were being celebrated all over the world at that time, I implored God, for the sake of all these Holy Masses, to have mercy on the world and especially on poor sinners who were dying at that moment. At the same instant, I received an interior answer from God that a thousand souls had received grace through the prayerful mediation I had offered to God. We do not know the number of souls that is ours to save through our prayers and sacrifices; therefore, let us always pray for sinners.
1784. Today, in the course of a long conversation, the Lord said to me, How very much I desire the salvation of souls! My dearest secretary, write that I want to pour out My divine life into human souls and sanctify them, if only they were willing to accept My grace. The greatest sinners would achieve great sanctity, if only they would trust in My mercy. The very inner depths of My being are filled to overflowing with mercy, and it is being poured out upon all I have created. My delight is to act in a human soul and to fill it with My mercy and to justify it. My kingdom on earth is My life in the human soul. Write, My secretary, that I Myself am the spiritual guide of souls – and I guide them indirectly through the priest, and lead each one to sanctity by a road known to Me alone.
1785. Mother Superior [Irene] visited me today, but only for a short while. When she looked around, she said that everything was too pretty here. It is true, the sisters are trying to make my stay in the sanatorium pleasant. But all this beauty does not lessen my sacrifice, which God alone can see and which will cease only when my heart stops beating. Neither the beauty of the whole earth, nor even of heaven itself, can blur the torture of my soul, which is real at each moment though so deeply interior. It will end when You Yourself, Author of my suffering, say, “Enough.” There is nothing that could lessen my sacrifice.
First Friday after Corpus Christi. [June 17, 1938]
1786. Right away, on the Friday after Corpus Christi, I felt so unwell that I thought the long-for moment was approaching. I had a high fever and spat up much blood during the night. Yet, I did go to receive the Lord Jesus in the morning, but I could not stay for the Holy Mass. In the afternoon, my temperature dropped suddenly to 35.8 ° C. I felt so weak that it was as if everything inside me were dying. But when I steeped myself in profound prayer, I understood that it was not yet the moment of deliverance, but only a closer call from my Bridegroom.
1787. When I met with the Lord, I said to Him, “You are fooling me, Jesus; You show me the open gate of heaven, and again You leave me on earth.” The Lord said to me, When, in heaven, you see these present days, you will rejoice and will want to see as many of them as possible. I am not surprised, My daughter, that you cannot understand this now, because your heart is overflowing with pain and longing for Me. Your vigilance pleases Me. Let My word be enough for you; it will not be long now.
And my soul found itself once again in exile. I lovingly united myself to the will of God, submitting myself to His gracious decrees.
1788. + The conversations that I hear in this place about worldly matters make me so tired that I nearly faint. The sisters who nurse me have noticed this, because it shows outwardly.
1789. + Today (note253) I saw the glory of God which flows from the image. Many souls are receiving graces, although they do not speak of it openly. Even though it has met up with all sorts of vicissitudes, God is receiving glory because of it; and the efforts of Satan and of evil men are shattered and come to naught. In spite of Satan’s anger, The Divine Mercy will triumph over the whole world and will be worshipped by all souls.
1790. I have come to know that, in order for God to act in a soul, it must give up acting on its own; otherwise, God will not carry out his will in it.