Sixth Notebook – Paragraphs 1671-1680
1671. At that moment, I prayed to the Lord for a certain person, and the Lord answered me, This soul is particularly dear to Me. I was immensely happy with this. The happiness of other souls fills me with a new joy, and when I see the higher gifts in some soul, my heart soars up to the Lord in a new hymn of adoration.
1672. April 19, . During recreation, one of the sisters [Sister Cajetan] said, “Sister Faustina is doing so poorly that she can hardly walk, but may she die soon because she is going to be a saint.” Then one of the sister directresses [Sister Casimir (note246)] said, “That she is going to die, we know; but whether she is going to be a saint, that is another question.” There then began some malicious remarks on this subject. I kept silent’; then I put in a word, but I saw that the conversation was getting worse, so again I fell silent.
1673. At present, I am getting letters from sisters who are in other houses and who made their novitiate with me. (note247) They often amuse me and make me laugh, as they usually go something like this: “Dear Sister Faustina, we are very sorry that you are so gravely ill; but we are very happy that, when the Lord Jesus takes you away, you will pray for us, for you have a lot of influence with the Lord.” One of the sisters put it this way: “When you die, Sister, please take me under your special care, for certainly you can do that for me” Another sister wrote as follows: “How I am waiting for the time when the Lord Jesus will take you, because I know what will happen then; and I greatly desire death for you.” I did want to ask her what she was thinking of, concerning my death, but I mortified myself and answered, “The same thing will happen to me, a sinner, as happens to all sinners, if God’s mercy does not shield me.”
1674. April 20, . Departure for Pradnik. I was very worried that I would be put in bed in a ward and be exposed to all sorts of things. If it were to be for only a week or two. . . . But it is for such a long time, two months or perhaps more. In the evening, I went in for a long talk with the lord Jesus. When I saw the Lord Jesus, I poured out my whole heart before Him, all my troubles, fears and apprehensions. Jesus lovingly listened to me and then said, Be at peace, My child, I am with you. Go in great peace. All is ready; I have ordered, in My own special way, a private room to be prepared for you. Reassured and overwhelmed with gratitude, I went to bed.
1675. On the following day, Sister Felicia took me there. I left in great peace and a calm spirit. When we arrived they told us there was a private room for Sister Faustina. When we entered the room we were surprised that everything had been prepared so beautifully: all was clean and neat, covered with tablecloths and bedecked with flowers; a pretty Easter Lamb had been place on the night table by the Sisters. (note248) At once, three Sacred Heart Sisters (note249) who work at the sanatorium, my old acquaintances, came and greeted me warmly. Sister Felicia was surprised at all this. We bid a warm farewell to each other, and she left. When I was alone, with just the Lord Jesus and myself, I thanked Flim for this great grace.
1676. Jesus said to me, Be at peace; I am with you. Tired, I fell asleep. In the evening, the sister [Sister David] who was to look after me came and said, “Tomorrow you will not receive the Lord Jesus, Sister, because you are very tired; later on, we shall see.” This hurt me very much, but I said with great calmness, “Very well,” and, resigning myself totally to the will of the Lord, I tried to sleep. In the morning, I made my meditation and prepared for Holy Communion, even though I was not to receive the Lord Jesus. When my love and desire had reached a high degree, I saw at by bedside a Seraph, who gave me Holy Communion, (note250) saying these words: “Behold the Lord of Angels.” When I received the Lord, my spirit was drowned in the love of God and in amazement. This was repeated for thirteen days, although I was never sure he would bring me Holy Communion the next day. Yet, I put my trust completely in the goodness of God, but did not even dare to think that I would receive Holy Communion in this way on the following day.
The Seraph was surrounded by a great light, the divinity and love of God being reflected in him. He wore a golden robe and, over it, a transparent surplice and a transparent stole. The chalice was crystal covered with a transparent veil. As soon as he gave me the Lord, he disappeared.
1677. Once, when a certain doubt rose within me shortly before Holy Communion, the Seraph with the Lord Jesus stood before me again. I asked the Lord Jesus, and not receiving an answer, I said to the seraph, “Could you perhaps hear my confession?” And he answered me, “No spirit in heaven has that power.” And that moment, the Sacred host rested on my lips.
1678. On Sunday [April 24, 1938 (note251)], the sister who had charge of the sick said to me, “Well, Sister, the priest will bring you the Lord Jesus today.” I answered, “Good,” and he brought Him. After some time, I received permission to leave my bed. So I went to Holy Mass and to spend time with the Lord, regularly.
1679. After the first examination, the doctor [Silberg] found that my condition was grave. “We suspect, Sister, that you do have the illness about which you spoke to me But Almighty God can do all things.”
When I entered my room, I steeped myself in prayer of thanksgiving for everything the Lord had been sending me throughout my whole life, surrendering myself totally to His most holy will. A deep joy and peace flooded my soul. I felt a peace so great that, if death had come at that moment, I would not have said to it, “Wait, for I still have some matters to attend to.” No, I would have welcomed it with joy, because I am ready for the meeting with the Lord, not only today, but ever since the moment when I placed my complete trust in the Divine Mercy, resigning myself totally to His most holy will, full of mercy and compassion. I know what I am of myself …
1680. Low Sunday. Today, I again offered myself to the Lord as a holocaust for sinners. My Jesus, if the end of my life is already approaching, I beg You most humbly, accept my death in union with You as a holocaust which I offer You today, while I still have full possession of my faculties and a fully conscious will, and this for a three fold purpose:
Firstly: that the work of Your mercy may spread throughout the whole world and that the Feast of The Divine Mercy may be solemnly promulgated and celebrated.
Secondly: that sinners, especially dying sinners, may have recourse to Your mercy and experience the unspeakable effects of this mercy.
Thirdly: that all the work of Your mercy may be realized according to Your wishes, and for a certain person who is in charge of this work
Accept, most merciful Jesus, this, my inadequate sacrifice, which I offer to You today before heaven and earth. May Your Most Sacred Heart, so full of mercy, complete what is lacking in my offering, and offer it to Your Father for the conversion of sinners. I thirst after souls, O Christ.