Sixth Notebook – Paragraphs 1621-1630
1621. March 1, 1938. One-day Retreat.
In meditation, I learned that I should hide myself as deeply as possible in the Heart of Jesus, meditate upon His Sorrowful Passion, and penetrate into the sentiments of His Divine Heart, which is full of mercy for sinners. In order to obtain mercy for them, I will empty myself at every moment, living by the will of God.
1622. Throughout this Lent, I am a host in Your hand, Jesus. Make use of me so that You may enter into sinners Yourself. Demand anything You like; no sacrifice will seem too much for me when souls are at stake.
1623. + I have offered this whole month’s Masses and Holy Communions for the intention of Father Andrasz, that God may give him an ever deeper knowledge of His love and mercy.
1624. This month I will practice the three virtues recommended to me by the Mother of God: humility, purity and love of God, accepting with profound submission to the will of God everything that He will send me.
1625. March 2, . I began Holy Lent in the way that Jesus wanted me to, making myself totally dependent upon His holy will and accepting with love everything that he sends me. I cannot practice any greater mortifications, because I am so very weak. This long illness has sapped my strength completely. I am uniting myself with Jesus through suffering. When I meditate on His Painful Passion, my physical sufferings are lessened.
1626. The Lord said to me, I am taking you into My school for the whole of Lent. I want to teach you how to suffer. I answered, “With You, Lord, I am ready for everything.” And I heard a voice. You are allowed to drink from the cup from which I drink. I give you that exclusive privilege today …
1627. Today I felt the Passion of Jesus in my whole body, and the Lord gave me knowledge of the conversion of certain souls.
1628. During Holy Mass, I saw Jesus stretched out on the Cross, and He said to me, My pupil, have great love for those who cause you suffering. Do good to those who hate you. I answered, “O my Master, You see very well that I feel no love for them, and that troubles me.” Jesus answered, It is not always within your power to control your feelings. You will recognize that you have love if, after having experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not lose your peace, but pray for those who have made you suffer and wish them well. When I returned [ ]
J. M. J.
1629. I am a host in Your hand,
O Jesus, my Creator and Lord,
Silent, hidden, without beauty or charm,
Because all the beauty of my soul is imprinted within me.
I am a host in Your hand, O Divine Priest,
Do with me as You please;
I am totally dependent on Your will, O Lord
Because it is the delight and adornment of my soul.
I am like a white host in Your hand, O God,
I implore You, transform me into Yourself.
May I be wholly hidden in You,
Locked in Your merciful Heart as in Heaven.
I am like a host in Your hand, O Eternal Priest,
May the wafer of my body hide me from human eye;
May Your eye alone measure my love and devotion,
Because my heart is always united with Your Divine Heart.
I am like a sacrificial host in Your hand, O Divine Mediator,
And I burn on the altar of holocaust,
Crushed and ground by suffering like grains of what,
And all this for the sake of Your glory, for the salvation of souls.
I am a host abiding in the tabernacle of Your Heart.
I go through life drowned in Your love,
And I fear nothing in the world,
For You Yourself are my shield, my strength, and my defense.
I am a host, laid on the altar of Your Heart,
To burn forever with the fire of love,
For I know that You have lifted me up solely because of Your mercy,
And so I turn all the gifts and graces to Your glory.
I am a host in Your hand, O Judge and Savior.
In the last hour of my life,
May the omnipotence of Your grace lead me to my goal,
May Your compassion on the vessel of mercy become famous.
1630. Jesus, fortify the powers of my soul that the enemy gain nothing. Without You, I am weakness itself. What am I without Your grace if not an abyss of my own misery? Misery is my possession.