Fifth Notebook – Paragraphs 1401-1410
1401. Yesterday I received a letter from Father Sopocko. I learned that God’s work is progressing, however slowly. I am very happy about this, and I have redoubled my prayers for this entire work. I have come to learn that, for the present, so far as my participation in the work is concerned, the Lord is asking for prayer and sacrifice. Action on my part could indeed thwart God’s plans, as Father Sopocko wrote in yesterday’s letter. O my Jesus, grant me the grace to be an obedient instrument in Your hands. I have learned from this letter how great is the light which God grants to this priest. This confirms me in the conviction that God will carry out this work through him despite the mounting obstacles. I know well that the greater and the more beautiful the work is, the more terrible will be the storms that rage against it.
1402. God, in his unfathomable decrees, often allows it to be that those who have expended most effort in accomplishing some work do not enjoy its fruits here on earth; God reserves all their joy for eternity. But for all that, God sometimes lets them know how much their efforts please Him. And such moments strengthen them for further struggles and ordeals. These are the souls that bear closest resemblance to the Savior who, in the work which He founded here on earth, tasted nothing but bitterness.
1403. O my Jesus, may You be blessed for everything! I rejoice that Your most holy will is being accomplished. That is quite enough to make me happy.
1404. Hidden Jesus, in You lies all my strength. From my most tender years, the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament has attracted me to Himself. Once, when I was seven years old, at a Vesper Service, conducted before the Lord Jesus in the monstrance, the love of God was imparted to me for the first time and filled my little heart; and the Lord gave me understanding of divine things. From that day until this, my love for the hidden God has been growing constantly to the point of closest intimacy. All the strength of my souls flows from the Blessed Sacrament. I spend all my free moments in conversation with Him. He is my Master.
1405. November 30, 1937. When I was going upstairs this evening, a strange dislike for everything having to do with God suddenly came over me. At that, I heard Satan who said to me, “Think no more about this work. God is not as merciful as you say He is. Do not pray for sinners, because they will be damned all the same, and by this work of mercy you expose your own self to damnation. Talk no more about this mercy of God with your confessor and especially not with Father Sopocko and Father Andrasz.” At this point, the voice took the appearance of my Guardian Angel, and at that moment I replied, “I know who you are; the father of lies [cf. Jn. 8:44].” I made the sign of the cross, and the angel vanished with great racket and fury.
1406. Today, the Lord gave me to know interiorly that He would never abandon me. He gave me to know His majesty and His holiness as well as His love and mercy towards me; and He gave me a deeper knowledge of my own wretchedness. However, this great misery of mine does not deprive me of trust. On the contrary, the better I have come to know my own misery, the stronger has become my trust in God’s mercy. I have come to understand how all this depends on the Lord. I know that no one will touch a single hair of my head without His willing it.
1407. When I was receiving Holy Communion today, I noticed in the cup a Living Host, which the priest gave to me. When I returned to my place I asked the Lord, “Why was one host alive, since you are equally alive under each of the species? The Lord answered me, That is so. I am the same under each of the species, but not every soul receives Me with the same living faith as you do, My daughter, and therefore I cannot act in their souls as I do in yours.
1408. I was present at Holy Mass celebrated by Father Sopocko. During the Mass, I saw the Infant Jesus who, touching the priest’s forehead with His finger, said to me, His thought is closely united to Mine, so be at peace about what concerns My work. I will not let him make a mistake, and you should do nothing without his permission. This filled my soul with great peace as regards everything that has to do with this work.
1409. + Today the Lord Jesus is giving me an awareness of Himself and of His most tender love and care for me. He is bringing me to understand deeply how everything depends on His will, and how He allows certain difficulties precisely for our merit, so that our fidelity might be clearly manifest. And through this, I have been given strength for suffering and self-denial.
1410. Today [December 7, 1937] is the eve of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary. During the midday meal, in an instant, God gave me to know the greatness of my destiny; that is, His closeness, which for all eternity will not be taken away from me, and He did this in such a vivid and clear fashion that I remained wrapped up in His living presence for a long time, humbling myself before His greatness.