Fifth Notebook – Paragraphs 1391-1400
1391. During supper in the refectory today, I felt God’s gaze in the depths of my heart. Such a vivid presence pervaded my soul that, for a while, I had no idea where I was. The sweet presence of God kept filling my soul and, at times, I could not understand what the sisters were saying to me.
1392. All the good that is in me is due to Holy Communion. I owe everything to it. I feel that this holy fire has transformed me completely. Oh, how happy I am to be a dwelling place for You, O Lord! My heart is a temple in which You dwell continually …
J. M. J.
1393. Jesus, delight of my soul, Bread of Angels,
My whole being is plunged in You,
And I live Your divine life as do the elect in heaven,
And the reality of this life will not cease, though I be laid in the grave.
Jesus-Eucharist, Immortal God,
Who dwell in my heart without cease,
When I possess You, death itself can do me no harm,
Love tells me that I will see You at life’s end.
Permeated by Your divine life,
I gaze with assurance at the heavens thrown open for me,
And death will shame-facedly go away, empty-handed,
For Your divine life is contained within my soul.
And although by Your holy will, O Lord,
Death is to touch my body,
I want this dissolution to come as quickly as possible,
For through it I am entering eternal life.
Jesus-Eucharist, life of my soul,
You have raised me up to the eternal spheres,
And this, by Your agony and death midst terrible tortures.
26 [November 1937]
1394. Monthly one-day retreat
In the course of this retreat, the Lord has given me the light to know His will more profoundly and to abandon myself completely to the holy will of God. This light has confirmed me in profound peace, making me understand that I should fear nothing except sin. Whatever God sends me, I accept with complete submission to His holy will. Wherever He puts me, I will try faithfully to do His holy will, as well as His wishes, to the extent of my power to do so, even if the will of God were to be as hard and difficult for me as was the will of the Heavenly Father to His Son, as He prayed in the Garden of Olives. I have come to see that if the will of the Heavenly Father was fulfilled in this way in His well-beloved Son, it will be fulfilled in us in exactly the same way: by suffering, persecution, abuse, disgrace. It is through all this that my soul becomes like unto Jesus. And the greater the sufferings, the more I see that I am becoming like Jesus. This is the surest way. If some other way were better, Jesus would have shown it to me. Sufferings in no way take away my peace. On the other hand, although I enjoy profound peace, that peace does not lessen my experience of suffering. Although my face is often bowed to the ground and my tears flow profusely, at the same time my soul is filled with profound peace and happiness …
1395. I want to hide myself in Your Most Merciful Heart as a dewdrop does in a flower blossom. Enclose me in this blossom against the frost of the world. No one can conceive the happiness which my heart enjoys in its solitude, alone with God.
1396. Today I heard a voice in my soul: Oh, if sinners knew My mercy, they would not perish in such great numbers. Tell sinful souls not to be afraid to approach Me; speak to them of My great mercy.
1397. The Lord said to me, The loss of each soul plunges Me into mortal sadness. You always console Me when you pray for sinners. The prayer most pleasing to Me is prayer for the conversion of sinners. Know, My daughter, that this prayer is always heard and answered.
1398. Advent is approaching. I want to prepare my heart for the coming of the Lord Jesus by silence and recollection of spirit, uniting myself with the Most Holy Mother and faithfully imitating Her virtue of silence, by which She found pleasure in the eyes of God Himself. I trust that, by Her side, I will persevere in this resolution.
1399. When I entered the chapel for a moment in the evening, I felt a terrible thorn in my head. This lasted for a short time, but the pricking was so painful that in an instant my head dropped onto the communion rail. It seemed to me that the thorn had thrust itself into my brain. But all this is nothing; it is all for the sake of souls, to obtain God’s mercy for them.
1400. I live from one hour to the next and am not able to get along in any other way. I want to make the best possible use of the present moment, faithfully accomplishing everything that it gives me. In all things, I depend on God with unwavering trust.