Fifth Notebook – Paragraphs 1351-1360
1351. Jesus, my most perfect model, with my eyes fixed on You, I will go through life in Your footsteps, adapting nature to grace, according to Your most holy will and Your light which illumines my soul, trusting completely in Your help.
J. M. J.
1352. Chart of inner control (note216)
Unity with the merciful Christ. Because I am united to Jesus, I must be faithful always and everywhere, and I must be interiorly united with the Lord, while exteriorly observing fidelity to the rule, particularly that of silence.
November: victories 53; defeats 2
December: victories 104; defeats –
January: victories 78; defeats 1
February: victories 59; defeats 1
March: victories 50
April: victories 61
1354. When I hesitate on how to act in some situations, I always ask Love. It advises best.
1355. General Exam of Conscience October 25, 1937
Commandments of God: Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr, Defeats
Vows-poverty: Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb9, Mar, Apr, Defeats
Vows-chastity: Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb7, Mar, Apr, Defeats
Vows-obedience: Nov, Dec27, Jan, Feb7, Mar, Apr, Defeats
Rules: Nov, Dec7, Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr, Defeats
Love of neighbor: Nov38, Dec17, Jan73, Feb35, Mar30, Apr20, Defeats1,1,1
Humility: Nov7, Dec39, Jan23, Feb34, Mar56, Apr25, Defeats2,3,1,1,6
Patience: Nov23, Dec56, Jan50, Feb17, Mar80, Apr50, Defeats
Silence: Nov11, Dec45, Jan37, Feb28, Mar37, Apr20, Defeats
Neighbor’s good name: Nov, Dec15, Jan25, Feb3, Mar1, Apr, Defeats1
Holy Mass and Communion: Nov17, Dec12, Jan13, Feb7, Mar, Apr10, Defeats6,2,1,12/1
Meditation: Nov6, Dec5, Jan, Feb10, Mar, Apr, Defeats
Particular Exam: Nov7, Dec5, Jan11, Feb, Mar, Apr, Defeats1
Attitude towards God and Confessor: Nov5, Dec, Jan, Feb5, Mar, Apr, Defeats
towards Superiors: Nov7, Dec, Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr, Defeats1,1
towards Sisters / Students: Nov, Dec4, Jan7, Feb, Mar, Apr, Defeats
towards Lay Persons: Nov20, Dec2, Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr, Defeats2,1
1356. Sixth day. O my God, I am ready to accept Your will in every detail, whatever it may be. However You may direct me, I will bless You. Whatever You ask of me I will do with the help of Your grace. Whatever Your holy will regarding me might be, I accept it with my whole heart and soul, taking no account of what my corrupt nature tells me.
1357. Once, when I was passing by a group of people, I asked the Lord if they were all in the state of grace, because I did not feel His sufferings. Because you do not feel My sufferings, it does not follow that they must all be in the state of grace. At times, I allow you to be aware of the condition of certain souls, and give you the grace of suffering solely because I use you as the instrument of their conversion.
1358. Where there is genuine virtue, there must be sacrifice as well; one’s whole life must be a sacrifice. It is only by means of sacrifice that souls can become useful. It is my self-sacrifice which, in my relationship with my neighbor, can give glory to God, but God’s love must flow through this sacrifice, because everything is concentrated in this love and takes its value from it.
1359. Bear in mind that when you come out of this retreat, I shall be dealing with you as with a perfect soul. I want to hold you in My hand as a pliant tool, perfectly adapted to the completion of My works.
1360. O Lord, You who penetrate my whole being and the most secret depths of my soul, You see that I desire You alone and long only for the fulfillment of Your holy will, paying no heed to difficulties or sufferings or humiliations or to what other might think.