Fifth Notebook – Paragraphs 1322-1330
J. M. J.
1322. The barque of my life sails along
Amid darkness and shadows of night,
And I see no shore;
I am sailing the high seas.
The slightest storm would drown me,
Engulfing my boat in the swirling depths,
If You Yourself did not watch over me, O God,
At each instant and moment of my life.
Amid the roaring waves
I sail peacefully, trustingly,
And gaze like a child into the distance without fear,
Because You, O Jesus, are my Light.
Dread and terror is all about me,
But within my soul is peace more profound than the depths of the sea,
For he who is with You, O Lord, will not perish;
Of this Your love assures me, O God.
Though a host of dangers surround me,
None of them do I fear, for I fix my gaze on the starry sky,
And I sail along bravely and merrily,
As becomes a pure heart.
And if the ship of my life sails so peacefully,
This is due to but one thing above all:
You are my helmsman, O God.
This I confess with utmost humility.
J. M. J.
1323. O my God, I love You
Of the Blessed Sacrament
Cracow, October 20, 1937
1324. + I bow down before You, O Bread of Angels,
With deep faith, hope and love
And from the depths of my soul I worship You,
Though I am but nothingness.
I bow down before you, O hidden God
And love You with all my hart.
The veils of mystery hinder me not at all;
I love You as do Your chosen ones in heaven.
I bow down before You, O Lamb of God
Who take away the sins of my soul,
Whom I receive into my heart each morn,
You who are my saving help.
J. M. J.
Cracow, October 20, 1937
1325. O my God, let everything that is in me praise You, my Lord and Creator; and with every beat of my heart I want to praise Your unfathomable mercy. I want to tell souls of Your goodness and encourage them to trust in Your mercy. That is my mission, which You Yourself have entrusted to me, O Lord, in this life and in the life to come.
1326. We are beginning an eight-day retreat today. (note215) Jesus, my Master, help me to make these holy retreat exercises with the greatest fervor possible. May Your Spirit guide me, O God, into the most profound depths of knowledge of Yourself, and of my own self as well. For I shall love You only as much as I shall come to know You. And I shall despise myself only as much as I shall come to known my misery. I know, Lord, that You will not refuse me Your help. I desire to come out of this retreat a saint, even though human eyes will not notice this, not even those of the superiors. I abandon myself entirely to the action of Your grace. Let Your will be accomplished entirely in me, O Lord.
1327. First day. Jesus: My daughter, this retreat will be an uninterrupted contemplation. I will bring you into this retreat as into a spiritual banquet. Close to My merciful Heart, you will meditate upon all the graces your heart has received, and a deep peace will accompany your soul. I want the eyes of your soul to be always fixed on My holy will, since it is in this way that you will please Me most. No sacrifices can be compared to this. Throughout all the exercises you will remain close to My Heart. You shall not undertake any reforms, because I will dispose of your whole life as I see fit. The priest who will preach the retreat will not speak a single word which will trouble you.
1328. My Jesus, I have already made two meditations, and I recognize, through them, that everything You have said is true. I am experiencing a profound peace, and this peace flows from the witness of my conscience; that is to say, that I am always doing Your will, O Lord.
1329. In the meditation on the goal of man, I understood that this truth is deeply rooted in my soul, and that my deeds are therefore the more perfect. I know why I was created. All creatures taken together cannot take the place, for me, of my Creator. I know that God is my ultimate goal and so, in whatever I undertake, I take God into account.
1330. + Oh, how good it is to spend a retreat close to the most sweet heart of my God. I am in the wilderness with my Beloved. No one interrupts my sweet conversation with Him.