Third Notebook – Paragraphs 1081-1090
1081. April 10, 1937. Today, Mother Superior gave me an article about The Divine Mercy to read, and with it there was also a reproduction of the image that had been painted. The article appeared in the Vilnius Weekly (note188) and was sent to us in Cracow by Father Michael Sopocko, that zealous apostle of The Divine mercy. In this article are included words that the lord Jesus has spoken to me, some of them quoted verbatim.
1082. When I took the issue of the Weekly into my hands, an arrow of love pierced my soul. – For the sake of your ardent desires, I am hastening the Feast of Mercy. My spirit burst into such a powerful flame of love that it seemed to me that I was totally dissolved in God.
1083. + That beautiful soul who is spreading this work of Divine Mercy throughout the world is, by his deep humility, very pleasing to God.
1084. Before every major grace, my soul undergoes a test of patience, for I feel the grace, but do not yet possess it. My spirit burns with impatience, but the hour has not yet come. These moments are so very extraordinary that it is difficult to describe them.
1085. April 13, 1937. Today I must stay in bed all day. I had a violent fit of coughing, which left me so weak that I have no strength to walk. My spirit is eager to do God’s work, but physical strength has left me. I cannot penetrate Your actions at this moment, O Lord; therefore, I keep repeating with a loving act of the will: Do with me as You please.
1086. Although the temptations are strong, a whole wave of doubts beats against my soul, and discouragement stands by, ready to enter into the act. The Lord, however, strengthens my will, against which all the attempts of the enemy are shattered as if against a rock. I see how many actual graces God grants me; these support me ceaselessly. I am very weak, and I attribute everything solely to the grace of God.
1087. + When one day I resolved to practice a certain virtue, I lapsed into the vice opposed to that virtue ten times more frequently than on other days. In the evening, I was reflecting on why, today, I had lapsed so extraordinarily, and I heard the words: You were counting too much on yourself and too little on Me. And I understood the cause of my lapses.
1088. Sudden return of health
After I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April 11, I suddenly became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited for a clear sign of God’s will. However, my health got so bad that I had to go to bed. The Coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this repeats a few more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1089. On April 14, I felt so bad that I barely managed to get up to assist at Holy Mass. I felt much worse than I did at the time they sent me for treatment. There was wheezing, and there were rattling noises in my lungs and strange pains. When I received Holy Communion, I don’t know why, but it was as if something were urging me to this prayer, and I began to pray in this manner: “Jesus, may Your pure and healthy blood circulate in my ailing organism, and may Your pure and healthy body transform my weak body, and may a healthy and vigorous life throb within me, if it is truly Your holy will that I should set about the work in question; and this will be a clear sign of Your holy will for me.”
As I was praying in this way, I suddenly felt as if something were jolting my whole organism and, in an instant, I felt completely well. My breath is clear, as if there had never been anything the matter with my lungs, and I feel no pain, and this is a sign for me that I should set about the work.
1090. And this happened on the last day of my novena to the Holy Spirit. After this return to health, I found myself united with the Lord Jesus in a purely spiritual way. Jesus gave me strong assurances; that is, He confirmed me in respect to His demands. I remained close to the Lord Jesus all that day and talked with Him about the details concerning that congregation.
Jesus infused my soul with power and courage to act. Now I understand that if the Lord demands something of a soul, He gives it the means to carry it out, and through grace He makes it capable of doing this. So, even if the soul be utterly miserable, at the Lord’s command it can undertake things beyond its expectation, because this is the sign by which it can be known that the Lord is with that soul: if God’s power and strength, which make the soul courageous and valiant, is manifest within it. As for myself, I am always at first a bit frightened at the Lord’s greatness, but afterwards my soul is filled with profound peace which nothing can disturb, as well as an inner strength to do what the Lord is demanding at that particular moment