Third Notebook – Paragraphs 1061-1070
1061. In the evening, over the radio, I heard hymns; that is, psalms, sung by priests. (note185) I burst into tears, and all of the pain was renewed in my soul, and I wept sorrowfully, unable to find appeasement in this pain. Then I heard a voice in my soul: Do not cry; I am not suffering any more. And for the faithfulness with which you accompanied Me in My sufferings and death, your own death will be a solemn one, and I will accompany you in that last hour. Beloved pearl of My Heart, I see your love so pure, purer than that of the angels, and all the more so because you keep fighting. For your sake I bless the world. I see your efforts to please Me, and they delight My Heart.
After these words, I wept no more, but thanked the heavenly Father for having sent us His Son and for the work of the Redemption of mankind.
1062. + I made an hour of adoration in thanksgiving for the graces which had been granted me and for my illness. Illness also is a great grace. I have been ill for four months, but I do not recall having wasted so much as a minute of it. All has been for God and souls; I want to be faithful to Him everywhere.
During this adoration, I realized the utter care and goodness that Jesus has been lavishing upon me and the protection He has given me against all evil. I thank You especially, Jesus, for visiting me in my solitude, and I thank You also for inspiring my superiors to send me for this treatment. Give them, Jesus, the omnipotence of Your blessing and compensate them for all the losses incurred because of me.
1063. Today, Jesus is bidding me to comfort and reassure a certain soul who has opened herself to me and told me about her difficulties. This soul is pleasing to the Lord, but she is not aware of it. God is keeping her in deep humility. I have carried out the Lord’s directives.
1064. + O my most sweet Master, good Jesus, I give You my heart. You shape and mold it after Your liking. O fathomless love, I open the calyx of my heart to You, like a rosebud to the freshness of dew. To You alone, my Betrothed, is known the fragrance of the flower of my heart. Let the fragrance of my sacrifice be pleasing to You. O Immortal God, my everlasting delight, already here on earth You are my heaven. May every beat of my heart be a new hymn of praise to You, O Holy Trinity! Had I as many hearts as there are drops of water in the ocean or grains of sand in the whole world, I would offer them all to You, O my Love, O Treasure of my heart! Whomever I shall meet in my life, no matter who they may be, I want to draw them all to love You, O my Jesus, my Beauty, my Repose, my sole Master, Judge, Savior and Spouse, all in one; I know that one title will modify the other – I have entrusted everything to Your mercy.
1065. + My Jesus, support me when difficult and stormy days come, days of testing, days of ordeal, when suffering and fatigue begin to oppress my body and my soul. Sustain me, Jesus, and give me strength to bear suffering. Set a guard upon my lips that they may address no word of complaint to creatures. Your most merciful Heart is all my hope. I have nothing for my defense but only Your mercy; in it lies all my trust.
1066. March 27, 1937. Today, I returned from Pradnik, after nearly four months of treatment. For everything, I give great thanks to God. I have made use of every moment to glorify God. When I went into the chapel for a moment, I realized how much I would have to suffer and struggle, with regard to this whole matter. O Jesus, my strength, You alone can help me; grant me fortitude.
1067. March 28. Resurrection. During the Mass of Resurrection, I saw the Lord in beauty and splendor, and He said to me, My daughter, peace be with you. He blessed me and disappeared, and my soul was filled with gladness and joy beyond words. My heart was fortified for struggle and sufferings.
1068. Today, I had a conversation with Father [Andrasz] and he recommended great caution in the matter of these sudden appearances of the Lord Jesus. When he was speaking about divine mercy, some sort of strength and power entered my heart. My God, I want so much to express everything and am so very unable to do so. Father tells me that the Lord Jesus is very generous in communicating himself to souls and, on the other hand, He is, so to speak, stingy. “Although God’s generosity is very great,” said Father, “be careful anyway, because these sudden appearances arouse suspicion; although, personally, I do not see anything wrong here, or anything contrary to faith. Be a little more careful, and when Mother Superior comes, you can talk to her about these things.”
1069. March 29, 1937. During meditation today, I saw the Lord in great beauty, and He said to me, Peace be to you, My daughter. My whole soul trembled with love for Him and I said, “O Lord, although I love You with all my heart, please do not appear to me, because my spiritual director has told me that these sudden appearances of yours arouse the suspicion that You could be an illusion. And although I love You more than my own life, and I know that You are my Lord and God, who are communing with me, I must above all be obedient to my confessor.”
Jesus listened to my words with gravity and kindness and spoke these words to me: Tell your confessor that I commune with your soul in such an intimate manner because you do not steal My gifts, and this is why I pour all these graces upon your soul, because I know that you will not hoard them for yourself. But as a sign that his prudence is agreeable to Me, you shall not see Me, and I will not appear to you in this way until you have given him an account of what I have just said.
1070. + April 2, 1937. In the morning, during Mass, I heard these words: Tell the Superior that I want adoration to take place here for the intention of imploring mercy for the world.