Third Notebook – Paragraphs 1051-1060
1051. I have felt great sufferings in my body, but I feel the Lord is upholding me, for otherwise I would not be able to bear it.
1052. O my Jesus, I beg You on behalf of the whole Church: Grant it love and the light of Your Spirit, and give power to the words of priests so that hardened hearts might be brought to repentance and return to You, O Lord. Lord, give us holy priests; You yourself maintain them in holiness. O Divine and Great High Priest, may the power of your mercy accompany them everywhere and protect them from the devil’s traps and snares which are continually being set for the souls of priests. May the power of Your mercy, O Lord, shatter and bring to naught all that might tarnish the sanctity of priests, for You can do all things.
1053. March 25, 1 937. Holy Thursday. During Holy Mass, I saw the Lord, who said to me, Lean your head on My breast and rest. The Lord pressed me to His Heart and said, I shall give you a small portion of My Passion, but do not be afraid, be brave; do not seek relief, but accept everything with submission to My will.
1054. When Jesus was taking leave of me, such great pain filled my soul that it is impossible to express it. Physical strength left me; I left the chapel quickly and went to bed. I was oblivious of what was going on around me. My soul was filled with longing for the Lord, and all the bitterness of His Divine Heart was imparted to me. This lasted for about three hours. I asked the Lord to protect me from the eyes of these around me. Although I wanted to, I could not take any food all day, until evening.
I earnestly desired to spend the whole night with Jesus in the dark prison cell. (note184) I prayed until eleven o’clock. At eleven, the Lord said to me, Lie down and take your rest. I have let you experience in three hours what I suffered during the whole night. And immediately I went to bed.
I had no physical strength left; the suffering had deprived me of it completely. Throughout all this time, I had been in a sort of swoon. Every beat of Jesus’ Heart was reflected in my heart and pierced my soul. If these tortures had concerned me only, I would have suffered less; but as I looked at the One whom my heart has loved with all its might and saw that He was suffering, and that I could not bring Him any relief, my heart dissolved in love and bitterness. I was dying with Him, and yet I could not die. But I would not have exchanged that martyrdom for all the pleasures in the whole world. In the course of this suffering, my love grew immeasurably. I know that the Lord was supporting me with His omnipotence, for otherwise I would not have been able to endure it for even a moment. Together with Him, I underwent, in a special way, all the various tortures. The world still has no idea of all that Jesus suffered. I accompanied Him to the Garden of Gethsemane; I stayed with Him in the prison; I went with Him before the judges; I underwent with Him each of the tortures. Not a single one of His movements or looks escaped my notice. I came to know all the omnipotence of His love and of His mercy towards souls.
1055. March 26, 1937. Friday. In the morning, I at once felt the torture of His five wounds in my body. This suffering continued until three o’clock. Although there is no outward sign of it, the torture is no less painful. I am glad that Jesus is protecting me from people’s eyes.
1056. At eleven o’clock Jesus said to me, My host, you are refreshment for My tormented Heart. I thought, after these words, that my heart would burn up. And He brought me into such close intimacy with Himself that my heart was espoused to His Heart in a loving union, and I could feel the faintest stir of His Heart and he, of mine. The fire of my created love was joined to the ardor of His eternal love. This one grace surpasses all others in its immensity. His Trinitarian Being enveloped me entirely, and I am totally immersed in Him. My littleness is, as it were, wrestling with this Immortal Might One. I am immersed in incomprehensible love and incomprehensible torture because of His Passion. All that concerns His Being is imparted to me also.
1057. Up to now, Jesus has been bringing me to know about, and to have a presentiment of, this grace, but today He granted it to me. I would not even dare to dream about it. My heart is in ceaseless ecstasy, as it were, although outwardly nothing disturbs my contacts with my neighbor or my attending to various matters. Nothing is capable of interrupting my ecstasy, nor can anyone suspect it, because I have asked God to protect me from detection by people. And, together with this grace, there entered my soul a whole ocean of light, enabling me to understand God and myself. Amazement overwhelms me entirely and leads me as if into a new ecstasy [aroused by the fact] that God has deigned to descend to me, who am so little.
1058. + At three o’clock, I prayed prostrate, in the form of a cross, for the whole world. Jesus’ mortal life was coming to an end. I heard His seven words: then He looked at me and said, Beloved daughter of My Heart, you are My solace amidst terrible torments.
1059. Jesus is commanding me to make a novena before the Feast of Mercy, and today I am to begin it for the conversion of the whole world and for the recognition of The Divine Mercy … so that every soul will praise My goodness. I desire trust from My creatures. Encourage souls to place great trust in My fathomless mercy. Let the weak, sinful souls have no fear to approach Me, for even if it had more sins that there are grains of sand in the world, all would be drowned in the unmeasurable depths of My mercy.
1060. When Jesus had given up His last breath, my soul dissolved from the pain, and for a long time I could not come to myself. I found some relief in tears. The One whom my heart had come to love has died. Will anyone understand my grief?