Second Notebook – Paragraphs 961-970
961. + This morning after completing my spiritual exercises, I began at once to crochet. I sensed a stillness in my heart; I sensed that Jesus was resting in it. That deep and sweet consciousness of God’s presence prompted me to say to the Lord, “O Most Holy Trinity dwelling in my heart, I beg You: grant the grace of conversion to as many souls as the [number of] stitches that I will make today with this crochet hook.” Then I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, too great are your demands, “Jesus, You know that for You it is easier to grant much rather than a little.” That is so, it is less difficult for Me to grant a soul much rather than a little, but every conversion of a sinful soul demands sacrifice. “Well, Jesus, I offer You this whole-hearted work of mine; this offering does not seem to me to be too small for such a large number of souls; You know, Jesus, that for thirty years You were saving souls by just this kind of work. And since holy obedience forbids me to perform great penances and mortifications, therefore I ask You, Lord; accept these mere nothings stamped with the seal of obedience as great things.” Then I heard a voice in my soul: My dear daughter, I comply with your request.
962. + I often see a certain person dear to God. The Lord has great love for him, not only because he is striving to spread the veneration of God’s mercy, but also because of the love he has for the Lord God, although he does not always feel this love in his own heart and is almost always in Gethsemane. However, this person is always pleasing to God, and his great patience will overcome all difficulties.
963. + Oh, if only the suffering soul knew how it is loved by God, it would die of joy and excess of happiness! Some day, we will know the value of suffering, but then we will no longer be able to suffer. The present moment is ours.
964. February 17, 1937. This morning during Holy Mass, I saw the Suffering Jesus. His Passion was imprinted on my body in an invisible manner, but no less painfully.
965. Jesus looked at me and said, Souls perish in spite of My bitter Passion. I am giving them the last hope of salvation; that is, the Feast of My Mercy. If they will not adore My mercy, they will perish for all eternity. Secretary of My mercy, write, tell souls about this great mercy of Mine, because the awful day, the day of My justice, is near.
966. + Today, I heard in my soul these words: My daughter, it is time for you take action; I am with you. Great persecutions and sufferings are in store for you, but be comforted by the thought that many souls will be saved and sanctified by this work.
967. + When I set to work at underlining the Lord’s words and thus was going through everything in sequence, I reached the page where I had marked down Father Andrasz’s advice and directions. I did not know what to do, to underline or not to underline, and then I heard these words in my soul: Underline, because these words are Mine; I have borrowed the lips of the friend of My Heart in order to speak to you and reassure you. You are to observe these directions until your death. It would not please Me at all if you were to disobey these directions. Know that it is I who have placed him between Myself and your soul. I am doing this to set you at peace and so that you may not err.
968. Since I have placed you in this priest’s special care, you are thus exempted from giving a detailed account to your superiors concerning My relationship with you. In all other matters, be as a child with your superiors, but whatever I do in the depths of your soul is to be told, with all frankness, only to the priests.
And I have noticed that, from the time God gave me a spiritual director, He has not required me to report everything to the superiors, as was the case before, but only that which concerns external matters: apart from this, only the director knows my soul. To have a spiritual director is a special grace of God. Oh, how few have received it! The soul remains in constant peace amidst the greatest difficulties. Every day after Holy Communion, I thank the Lord Jesus for this grace, and every day I ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten him. I have truly experienced in my soul what power the director’s words have. Blessed by God’s mercy for this grace!
969. + Today, I went to meditate before the Blessed Sacrament [in the sanatorium chapel]. When I approached the altar, God’s presence pervaded my soul, I was plunged into the ocean of His divinity, and Jesus said to me, My daughter, all that exists is yours. I answered the Lord, ‘My heart wants nothing but You alone. O Treasure of my heart. For all the gifts You give me, thank you, O Lord, but I desire only Your Heart. Though the heavens are immense, they are nothing to me without You. You know very well, O Jesus, that I am constantly swooning because of my longing for You.” Know this, My daughter, that you are already tasting now what other souls will obtain only in eternity.
970. And all of a sudden, my soul was flooded with the light of the knowledge of God. Oh, would that I could express even a little of what my soul experiences when resting near the Heart of the incomprehensible Majesty! I cannot put it into words. Only a soul who has experienced such a grace at least once in his life, will recognize it. When I returned to my room, it seemed to me that I was coming from real life to death. When the doctor came to take my pulse, he was surprised: “Sister, what happened? You have never had a pulse like this! I would like to know what has speeded it up so much.” What could I tell him, when I myself did not know that my pulse was so rapid. In only know that I am dying of yearning for God, but this I did not tell him, for how can medicine help in this instance?