Second Notebook – Paragraphs 851-860
851. December 28 , . Today I have started a novena to The Divine Mercy. That is, I place myself in spirit before the image and recite the chaplet which the Lord has taught me. On the second day of the novena, I saw the image, as it were, come alive, adorned with numberless votive lamps, and I saw great crowds of people coming there, and many of them were filled with happiness. O Jesus, with what great joy did my heart beat! I am making the novena for the intention of two people; namely, the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] and Father Sopocko. I am earnestly asking the Lord to inspire the Archbishop to approve the chaplet, which is so pleasing to God, and also the image, and that he may not put off or delay this work …
852. Today the Lord’s gaze shot through me suddenly, like lightning. At once, I came to know the tiniest specks in my soul, and knowing the depths of my misery, I fell to my knees and begged the Lord’s pardon, and with great trust I immersed myself in His infinite mercy. Such knowledge does not depress me nor keep me away from the Lord, but rather it arouses in my soul greater love and boundless trust. The repentance of my heart is linked to love. These extraordinary flashes from the Lord educate my soul. O sweet rays of God, enlighten me to the most secret depth, for I want to arrive at the greatest possible purity of heart and soul.
853. In the evening, a great longing took possession of my soul. I took the pamphlet with the Image of the Merciful Jesus on it and pressed it to my heart, and the following words burst forth from my soul: “Jesus, Eternal Love, I live for You, I die for You, and I want to become united with You.” Suddenly, I saw the Lord in His inexpressible beauty. He looked at me graciously and said, My daughter, I too came down from heaven out of love for you; I lived for you, I died for you, and I created the heavens for you. And Jesus pressed me to His Heart and said to me, Very soon now; be at peace, My daughter. When I was alone, my soul was set afire with the desire to suffer until the moment when the Lord would say, “Enough.” And even if I were to live for thousands of years, I see in the light of God that that is but one moment. Souls. … [unfinished thought],
854. December 29, . Today after Holy Communion, I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, stand ready, for I will come unexpectedly. Jesus, You do not want to tell me the hour I am looking forward to with such longing? My daughter, it is for your own good. You will learn it, but not now; keep watch. O Jesus, do with me as You please. I know You are the merciful Savior and You will not change towards me at the hour of my death. If at this time, you are showing me so much special love, and are condescending to unite Yourself with me in such an intimate way and with such great kindness, I expect even more at the hour of my death. You, my Lord-God, cannot change. You are always the same. Heaven can change, as well as everything that is created; but You, Lord, are ever the same and will endure forever. So come as You like and when You like. Father of infinite mercy, I, Your child, wait longingly for Your coming. O Jesus, You said in the Holy Gospel, “Out of your mouth do I judge you.” Well, Jesus, I am always speaking of Your inconceivable mercy, so I trust that You will judge me according to Your unfathomable mercy.
855. December 30, 1936. The year is coming to an end. I took today as the day of the monthly retreat. My spirit engrossed itself in the benefits that God has lavished on me throughout this whole year. My soul trembled at the sight of this immensity of God’s graces. From my soul there burst forth a hymn of thanksgiving to the Lord. For a whole hour, I remained steeped in adoration and thanksgiving, contemplating, one by one, the benefits I had received from God and also my own minor shortcomings. All that this year contained has gone into the abyss of eternity. Nothing is lost. I am glad that nothing gets lost.
December 39, . One-day retreat
856. During the morning meditation, I felt an aversion and a repugnance for all created things. Everything pales before my eyes; my spirit is detached from all things. I desire only God Himself, and yet I must live. This is a martyrdom beyond description. God imparts Himself to the soul in a loving way and draws it into the infinite depths of his divinity, but at the same time He leaves it here on earth for the sole purpose that it might suffer and die of longing for Him. And this strong love is so pure that God Himself finds pleasure in it; and self-love has no access to its deeds, for here everything is totally saturated with bitterness, and thus is totally pure. Life is a continuous dying, painful and terrible, and at the same time it is the depth of true life and of inconceivable happiness and the strength of the soul; and because of this, [the soul] is capable of great deeds for the sake of God.
857. + In the evening, I prayed for a few hours, first for my parents and relatives, for Mother General and for the whole Congregation, for our students, and for three priests [probably Archbishop Jalbrzykowski, Father Sopocko, and Father Andrasz] to whom I owe very much. I ran the length and breadth of the whole world and thanked the unfathomable mercy of God for all the graces granted to people, and I begged pardon for everything by which they have offended Him.
858. During Vespers, I saw the Lord Jesus, who looked sweetly and profoundly into my soul. My daughter, have patience; it won’t be long now. That profound look and those words filled my soul with strength and power, courage and extraordinary trust that I would carry out everything He was demanding of me, despite such tremendous difficulties, and [filled me with] a special conviction that the Lord is with me and that with Him I can do all things. All the powers on earth and in hell are as nothing to me. Everything must fall before the power of His Name. I entrust everything into Your hands, O my Lord and God. Sole Commander of my soul, direct me according to Your eternal desires.
859. J.M.J. Cracow, Pradnik, January 1, 1937
Jesus, I trust in You.
+ Today, at midnight, I big good-bye to the old year 1936, and welcomed the year 1937. It was with fear and trembling that, in this first hour of the year, I faced this new period of time. Merciful Jesus, with You I go boldly and courageously into conflicts and battles. In your Name, I will accomplish everything and overcome everything. My God, Infinite Goodness, I beg of You, let Your infinite mercy accompany me always and in all things.
As I enter this year, fear of life overwhelms me, but Jesus brings me out of this fear and lets me know what great glory this work of mercy will bring Him.
860. There are times in life when the soul finds comfort only in profound prayer. Would that souls knew how to persevere in prayer at such times. This is very important.