Second Notebook – Paragraphs 801-810
801. Today, I still managed to pay a short visit to the Lord [in the Eucharist] before going to bed. My spirit was immersed in Him as in its only treasure. My heart rested a while near the Heart of my Spouse. I received light as to how I should behave toward those around me, and then I returned to my solitude. The doctor is taking good care of me; all those around me are very kind to me.
802. December 10, . I got up earlier today and made my meditation before Holy Mass. Holy Mass is at six o’clock here. After Holy Communion my spirit was drowned in the Lord as in the sole object of its love. I felt absorbed by His omnipotence. When I came back to my private room, I felt sick and had to lie down at once. The sister (note150) brought me some medication, but I felt bad all day. In the evening, I tried to make a Holy Hour, but I could not do so; all I could do was united myself with the suffering Jesus.
803. My room is next to the men’s ward. I didn’t know that men were such chatterboxes. From morning till late at night, there is talk about various subjects. The women’s ward is much quieter. It is women who are always blamed for this; but I have had occasion to be convinced that the opposite is true. It is very difficult for me to concentrate on my prayer in the midst of these jokes and this laughter. They do not disturb me when the grace of God takes complete possession of me because then I do not know what is going on around me.
804. My Jesus, how little these people talk about You. They talk about everything but You, Jesus. And if they talk so little [about You], it is quite probable that they do not think about You at all. The whole world interests them; but about You, their Creator, there is silence. Jesus, I am sad to see this great indifference and ingratitude of creatures. O my Jesus, I want to love You for them and to make atonement to You, by my love.
Immaculate Conception of the Mother of God
805. From early morning, I felt the nearness of the Blessed Mother. During Holy Mass, I saw Her, so lovely and so beautiful that I have no words to express even a small part of this beauty. She was all [in] white, with a blue sash around Her waist. Her cloak was also blue, and there was a crown on Her head. Marvelous light streamed forth from Her whole figure. I am the Queen of heaven and earth, but especially the Mother of your [Congregation]. She pressed me to Her heart and said, I feel constant compassion for you. I felt the force of Her Immaculate Heart which was communicated to my soul. Now I understand why I have been preparing for this feast for two months and have been looking forward to it with such yearning. From today onwards, I am going to strive for the greatest purity of soul, that the rays of God’s grace may be reflected in all their brilliance. I long to be a crystal in order to find favor in His eyes.
806. + That same day, I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko or Father Andrasz] who was surrounded by the splendor which flowed from her; evidently, this soul loves the Immaculate One.
807. An extraordinary yearning fills my soul. I am surprised that it does not separate the soul from the body. I desire God; I want to become immersed in Him. I understand that I am in a terrible exile; my soul aspires for God with all its might. O you inhabitants of my fatherland, be mindful of this exile! When will the veils be lifted for me as well? Although I see and fee! to a certain extent how very thin is the veil separating me from the Lord, I long to see Him face to face; but let everything be done according to Your will.
808. December 11. I could not assist at the whole Mass today; I assisted at only the most important parts, and after receiving Holy Communion I immediately returned to my solitude. The presence of God suddenly enveloped me, and at the same moment I felt the Passion of the Lord, for a very short while. During that moment, I attained a more profound knowledge of the work of mercy.
809. During the night, I was suddenly awakened and knew that some soul was asking me for prayer, and that it was in much need of prayer. Briefly, but with all my soul, I asked the Lord for grace for her.
810. The following afternoon, when I entered the ward, I saw someone dying, and learned that the agony had started during the night. When I verified it – it had been at the time when I had been asked for prayer. And just then, I heard a voice in my soul: Say the chaplet which I taught you. I ran to fetch my rosary and knelt down by the dying person and, with all the ardor of my soul, I began to say the chaplet. Suddenly the dying person opened her eyes and looked at me; I had not managed to finish the entire chaplet when she died, with extraordinary peace. I fervently asked the Lord to fulfill the promise He had given me for the recitation of the chaplet. The Lord gave me to know that the soul had been granted the grace. He had promised me. That was the first soul to receive the benefit of the Lord’s promise. I could feel the power of mercy envelop that soul.