Second Notebook – Paragraphs 621-630
621. On one occasion, when I dropped by the chapel for a five-minute adoration and was praying for a certain soul, I came to understand that God does not always accept our petitions for the souls we have in mind, but directs these to other souls. Hence, although we do not relieve the souls we intended to relieve in their purgatorial suffering, still our prayer is not lost.
622. Intimate communion of a soul with God. God approaches a soul in a special way known only to Himself and to the soul. No one perceives this mysterious union. Love presides in this union, and everything is achieved by love alone. Jesus gives Himself to the soul in a gentle and sweet manner, and in His depths there is peace. He grants the soul many graces and makes it capable of sharing His eternal thoughts. And frequently, He reveals to it His divine plans.
623. Father Andrasz told me that it would be a good thing to have in God’s Church a group of souls who would beg for His mercy, because in fact we are all in need of that mercy. After these words, an extraordinary light filled my soul. Oh, how good is the Lord!
624. March 18, 1936. Once, I asked the Lord Jesus to take the first stop by bringing about some change or some external event, or by letting them expel me, as I found it impossible to leave the Congregation on my own initiative. And I was in an agony over this for more than three hours. I could not pray, but kept submitting my will to the will of God.
The next morning, Mother Superior [Borgia] told me that Mother General [Michael] was transferring me to Warsaw. I answered Mother that perhaps I should not go but leave [the Congregation] directly from here. I regarded this to be the external sign for which I had been asking God. Mother Superior made no reply, but after some time she called me again and said, “You know what, Sister: go anyway and don’t worry about wasting a trip, even if you should return immediately.” I answered, “All right, I will go,” although my heart was seized with pain because I knew that by this trip this matter would be delayed. However, I try always to be obedient, despite everything.
625. In the evening, when I was praying, the Mother of God told me, Your lives must be like Mine: quiet and hidden, in unceasing union with God, pleading for humanity and preparing the world for the second coming of God.
626. In the evening, during Benediction, my soul was for some time in communion with God the father. I felt I was in His hand like a little child, and I heard these words in my soul: Do not fear anything, My daughter; all the adversaries will be shattered at My feet. At these words, a deep peace and a great interior calm entered my soul.
627. When I complained to the Lord that He was taking my help away and that I would be alone again and would not know what to do, I heard these words: Do not be afraid; I am always with you. After these words, a deep peace once again entered my soul. His presence penetrated me completely in a way that could be sensed. My spirit was flooded with light, and my body participated in this as well.
628. On the evening of the last day before my departure from Vilnius, an elderly sister (note131) revealed the condition of her soul to me. She said that she had already been suffering interiorly for several years, that it seemed to her that all her confessions had been bad, and that she had doubts as to whether the Lord Jesus had forgiven her. I asked her if she had ever told her confessor about this. She answered that she had spoken many times about this to her confessors and…. ’’the confessors are always telling me to be at peace, but still I suffer very much, and nothing brings me relief, and it constantly seems to me that God has not forgiven me.” In answered, “You should obey your confessor, Sister, and be fully at peace, because this is certainly a temptation.”
But she entreated me with tears in her eyes to ask Jesus if He had forgiven her and whether her confessions had been good or not. I answered forcefully, “Ask Him yourself, Sister, if you don’t believe your confessors!” But she clutched my hand and did not want to let me go until I gave her an answer, and she kept asking me to pray for her and to let her know what Jesus would tell me about her. Crying bitterly, she would not let me go and said to me, “I know that the Lord Jesus speaks to you, Sister.” Since she was clutching my hand and I could not wrench myself away, I promised her I would pray for her. In the evening, during Benediction, I heard these words in my soul: Tell her that her disbelief wounds My heart more than the sins she committed. When I told her this, she began to cry like a child, and great joy entered her soul. I understood that God wanted to console this soul through me. Even though it cost me a good deal, I fulfilled God’s wish.
629. When I entered the chapel for a moment that same evening, to thank God for all the graces He had bestowed on me in this house, suddenly God’s presence enveloped me. I felt like a child in the hands of the best of fathers, and I heard these words: Do not fear anything. I am always with you. His love penetrated my whole being. I felt I was entering into such close intimacy with Him that I cannot find words to express it.
630. Then I saw one of the seven spirits near me, radiant as at other times, under a form of light. I constantly saw him beside me when I was riding on the train. I saw an angel standing on every church we passed, but surrounded by a light which was paler than that of the spirit who was accompanying me on the journey, and each of these spirits who were guarding the churches bowed his head to the spirit who was near me.
When I entered the convent gate at Warsaw, the spirit disappeared. I thanked God for His goodness, that He gives us angels for companions. Oh, how little people reflect on the fact that they always have beside them such a guest, and at the same time a witness to everything! Remember, sinners, that you likewise have a witness to all your deeds.