Second Notebook – Paragraphs 591-600
591. Jesus. You know how ardently I desire to hide so that no one may know me but Your sweetest Heart. I want to be a tiny violet, hidden in the grass, unknown in a magnificent enclosed garden in which beautiful lilies and roses grow. The beautiful rose and the lovely lily can be seen from afar, but in order to see a little violet, one has to bend low; only its scent gives it away. Oh, how happy I am to be able to hide myself in this way! O my divine Bridegroom, the flower of my heart and the scent of my pure love are for You. My soul has drowned itself in You, Eternal God. From the moment when You yourself drew me to Yourself, O my Jesus, the more I have known You, the more ardently I have desired You.
592. I learned in the Heart of Jesus that in heaven itself there is a heaven to which not all, but only chosen souls, have access. Incomprehensible is the happiness in which the soul will be immersed. O my God, oh, that I could describe this, even in some little degree. (56) Souls are penetrated by His divinity and pass from brightness to brightness, an unchanging light, but never monotonous, always new though never changing. O Holy Trinity, make yourself known to souls!
593. O my Jesus, nothing is better for the soul than humiliations. In contempt is the secret of happiness, when the soul recognizes that, of itself, it is only wretchedness and nothingness, and that whatever it possesses of good is a gift of God. When the soul sees that everything is given it freely and that the only thing it has of itself is its own misery, this is what sustains it in a continual act of humble prostration before the majesty of God. And God, seeing the soul in such a disposition, pursues it with His graces. As the soul continues to immerse itself more deeply into the abyss of its nothingness and need, God uses His omnipotence to exalt it. If there is a truly happy soul upon earth, it can only be a truly humble soul. At first, one’s self-love suffers greatly on this account, but after a soul has struggled courageously. God grants it much light by which it sees how wretched and full of deception everything is. God alone is in its heart. A humble soul does not trust itself, but places all its confidence in God. God defends the humble soul and lets Himself into its secrets, and the soul abides in unsurpassable happiness which no one can comprehend.
594. One evening, one of the deceased sisters, who had already visited me a few times, appeared to me. The first time I had seen her, she had been in great suffering, and then gradually these sufferings had diminished; this time she was radiant with happiness, and she told me she was already in heaven. She told me that God had tried our house with tribulation because Mother General [Michael] had given in to doubts, not believing what I had said about this soul. And further, as a sign that she only now was in heaven, God would bless our house. Then she came closer to me, embraced me sincerely and said, “I must go now.” I understood how closely the three stages of a soul’s life are bound together; that is to say, life on earth, in purgatory and in heaven [the Communion of Saints].
595. I have noticed many times that God tries certain people on account of those things about which He spoke to me, for mistrust displeases Jesus. Once, when I saw that God had tried a certain Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] because he was opposed to the cause and distrustful of it, I felt sorry for him and pleaded with God for him, and God relieved his suffering. God is very displeased with lack of trust in Him, and this is why some souls lose many graces. Distrust hurts His most sweet Heart, which is full of goodness and incomprehensible love for us. A priest should sometimes be distrustful in order to better ascertain the genuineness of gifts bestowed on a given soul; and when he does so in order to direct the soul to deeper union with God, his will be a great and incomprehensible reward indeed. But there is a great difference between this and disrespect and distrust of divine graces in a soul simply because one cannot comprehend and penetrate these things with one’s mind, and this latter is displeasing to the Lord. I greatly pity souls who encounter inexperienced priests.
596. Once, a certain priest [Father Sopocko (note124)] asked me to pray for him. I promised to pray, and asked for mortification. When I received permission for a certain mortification, I felt a great desire to give up all the graces that God’s goodness would intend for me that day in favor of that priest, and I asked the Lord Jesus to deign to bestow on me all the sufferings and afflictions, both exterior and spiritual, that the priest would have had to suffer during that day. God partially answered my request and, at once, all sorts of difficulties and adversities sprang up out of nowhere, so much so that one of the sisters remarked out loud that the Lord Jesus must have a hand in this because everyone was trying Sister Faustina. The charges made were so groundless that what some sisters put forward, others denied, while I offered all this in silence on behalf of the priest.
But that was not all; I began to experience interior sufferings. First, I was seized by depression and aversion towards the sisters, then a kind of uncertainty began to trouble me. I could not recollect myself during prayer, and various things would take hold of my mind. When, tired out, I entered the chapel, a strange pain seized my soul, and I began to weep softly. Then I heard in my soul a voice, saying, My daughter, why are you weeping? After all, you yourself offered to undertake these sufferings. Know that what you have taken upon yourself for that soul is only a small portion. He is suffering much more. And I asked the Lord, “Why are You treating him like that?” The Lord answered me that it was for the triple crown meant for him: that of virginity, the priesthood and martyrdom. At that moment, a great joy flooded my soul at the sight of the great glory that is going to be his in heaven. Right away I said the Te Deum (note125) for this special grace of God; namely, of learning how God treats those He intends to have close to himself. Thus, all sufferings are nothing in comparison with what awaits us in heaven.
597. One day, after our Mass, I suddenly saw my confessor [Father Sopocko] saying Mass in Saint Michael’s Church, in front of the picture of the Mother of God. It was at the time of the Offertory, and I saw the Infant Jesus clinging to him as if fleeing from something and seeking refuge in him. But when the time came for Holy Communion, He disappeared as usual. Suddenly, I saw the Blessed Mother, who shielded him with her cloak and said, Courage, My son, courage. She said something else which I could not hear.
598. Oh, how ardently I desire that every soul would praise Your mercy. Happy is the soul that calls upon the mercy of the Lord. It will see that the Lord will defend it as His glory, as He said. And who would dare fight against God? All you souls, praise the Lord’s mercy by trusting in His mercy all your life and especially at the hour of your death. And fear nothing, dear soul, whoever you are; the greater the sinner, the greater his right to Your mercy, O Lord. O Incomprehensible Goodness! God is the first to stoop to the sinner. O Jesus, I wish to glorify Your mercy on behalf of thousand of souls. I know very well, O my Jesus, that I am to keep telling souls about Your goodness, about Your incomprehensible mercy.
599. On one occasion, after a person had asked me for prayer, when I met the Lord I said to Him, “Jesus, I especially love those souls whom You love.” And Jesus answered, And as for Me, I bestow special graces on those souls for whom you intercede.
600. How wondrously Jesus defends me; truly this is a great grace of God which I have experienced for a long time now.