First Notebook – Paragraphs 241-250
Special Resolutions of the Retreat, May 1, 1933
241. Love of neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice in the success of others.
242. + 0 God, how much I desire to be a small child. (note71) You are my Father, and You know how little and weak I am. So I beg You, keep me close by Your side all my life and especially at the hour of my death. Jesus, I know that Your goodness surpasses the goodness of a most tender mother.
243. I will thank the Lord Jesus for every humiliation and will pray especially for the person who has given me the chance to be humiliated. I will immolate myself for the benefit of souls. I will not count the cost of any sacrifice, I will cast myself beneath the feet of the sisters, like a carpet on which they can not only tread, but also wipe their feet. My place is under the feet of the sisters. I will make every effort to obtain that place unnoticed by others. It is enough that God sees this.
244. Now a gray, ordinary day has begun, The solemn hours of the perpetual vows have passed, but God’s great grace has remained in my soul. I feel I am all God’s; I feel I am His child, I feel I am wholly God’s property. I experience this in a way that can be physically sensed. I am completely at peace about everything, because I know it is the Spouse’s business to look after me. I have forgotten about myself completely. My trust placed in His Most Merciful Heart has no limit. I am continuously united with Him. It seems to me as though Jesus could not be happy without me, nor could I, without Him. Although I understand that, being God, He is happy in Himself and has absolutely no need of any creature, still, His goodness compels Him to give Himself to the creature, and with a generosity which is beyond understanding.
245. My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You Yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O, you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
+ [April] 25, 1933
Monthly Permissions (note72)
246. To enter the chapel when I pass near it.
To pray in my moments of leisure.
To accept, give or lend small things.
To have a mid-morning and an afternoon snack.
Sometimes I will not be able to take part in recreation.
Sometimes I will not be able to take part in community exercises.
Sometimes I will not be able to take part in evening and morning prayers.
Sometimes to remain at work a little longer after nine or to make my spiritual exercises after nine.
To write down something or take notes when I have a free moment.
To go out of the house.
To visit a church when I am in town.
To enter other sisters’ cells in case of need.
To take a drink of water occasionally outside the prescribed times.
To recite the Chaplet of The Divine Mercy with outstretched arms.
On Saturdays, to say five decades of the Rosary with outstretched arms.
To sometimes recite a prayer [while] lying prostrate.
On Thursdays, a Holy Hour.
On Fridays, some greater mortification for dying sinners.
247. Jesus, Friend of a lonely heart, You are my heaven. You are my peace. You are my salvation, You are my serenity in moments of struggle and amidst an ocean of doubts. You are the bright ray that lights up the path of my life. You are everything to a lonely soul. You understand the soul even though it remains silent. You know our weaknesses, and like a good physician, You comfort and heal, sparing us sufferings – expert that You are.
248. The words of the Bishop [Rospond (note73)], spoken at the ceremony of the taking of perpetual vows: “Accept this candle as a sign of heavenly light and or burning love.”
While giving the ring: “I betroth you to Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father Most High; may He keep you unblemished. Take this ring as a sign of the eternal covenant you are making with Christ, the Spouse of Virgins. May it be for you the ring of faith and the sign of the Holy Spirit, that you may be called the bride of Christ and, if you serve Him faithfully, be crowned [as such] for all eternity.”
249. + Jesus, I trust in You; I trust in the ocean of your mercy. You are a Mother to me.
250. + This year, 1933, is for me an especially solemn year, because in this Jubilee Year of the Lord’s Passion, I have taken my perpetual vows. I have joined my sacrifice in a special way to the sacrifice of the crucified Jesus, in order to thus become more pleasing to God. I do all things with Jesus, through Jesus, in Jesus.