First Notebook – Paragraphs 41-50
41. On one occasion I saw a servant of God in the immediate danger of committing a mortal sin. I started to beg God to deign to send down upon me all the torments of hell and all the sufferings He wished if only this priest would be set free and snatched from the occasion of committing a sin. Jesus heard my prayer and, that very instant, I felt a crown of thorns on my head. The thorns penetrated my head with great force right into my brain. This lasted for three hours; the servant of God was set free from this sin, and his soul was strengthened by a special grace of God.
42. + Once, on Christmas Day , I felt the omnipotence and the presence of God surrounding me. And once more I fled from this interior meeting with the Lord. I asked Mother Superior for permission to go to Jozefinek (note28) to visit the sisters there. The Superior gave us permission, and we started to get ready right after lunch. The other sisters were already waiting for me at the door of the convent while I ran to my cell to get my cloak.
On my way back, as I was passing close to the little chapel, I saw Jesus standing in the doorway. He said to me, Go ahead, but I am taking your heart. Suddenly I felt that I had no heart in my chest. But the sisters were scolding me for lingering behind, saying that it was already getting late, so I quickly went along with them. But a sense of uneasiness troubled me, and a strange longing invaded my soul, through no one knew what was happening except God.
After we had been at Jozefinek for only a few minutes, I said to the sisters, “Let’s go back home.” The sisters asked for at least a moment’s rest, but my spirit could find no peace.
I explained that we must return before dark; and in as much as we had quite a distance to go, we immediately returned home. When Mother Superior met us in the hallway she asked me, “Haven’t the sisters gone yet, or have they already returned?” I said that we had already returned because I did not want to be returning in the evening. I took off my cloak and immediately went to the little chapel. As soon as I entered Jesus said to me, Go to Mother Superior and tell her that you came back, not in order to reach home before dark, but because I had taken your heart. Even though this was very difficult for me, I went to the Superior, and I told her frankly the real reason why I had come back so soon, and I asked pardon of the Lord for everything that had displeased Him. And then Jesus filled me with great joy. I understood that apart from God there is no contentment anywhere.
43. On one occasion I saw two sisters who were about to enter hell. A terrible agony tore my soul; I prayed to God for them, and Jesus said to me, Go to Mother Superior and tell her that those two sisters are in danger of committing a mortal sin. The next day I told this to the Superior. One of them had already repented with great fervor and the other was going through a great struggle.
44. One day Jesus said to me, I am going to leave this house…. because there are things here which displease Me. And the Host came out of the tabernacle and came to rest in my hands and I, with joy, placed it back in the tabernacle. This was repeated a second time, and I did the same thing. Despite this, it happened a third time, but the Host was transformed into the living Lord Jesus, who said to me, I will stay here no longer! At this, a powerful love for Jesus rose up in my soul, I answered, “And I, I will not let You leave this house, Jesus!” And again Jesus disappeared while the Host remained in my hands. Once again I put it back in the chalice and closed it up in the tabernacle. And Jesus stayed with us. I undertook to make three days of adoration by way of reparation.
45. Once Jesus said to me, Tell Mother General [Michael} that in this house…. Such and such a thing is being committed … which displeases Me and offends Me greatly. I did not tell this to Mother right away, but the uneasiness which the Lord made me feel did not permit me to wait a minute longer, and I wrote immediately to Mother General, and peace returned to my soul.
46. I often felt the Passion of the Lord Jesus in my body, although this was imperceptible [to others], and I rejoiced in it because Jesus wanted it so. But this lasted for only a short time. These sufferings set my soul afire with love for God and for immortal souls. Love endures everything, love is stronger than death, love fears nothing
+ February 22, 1931
47. In the evening, when I was in my cell, I saw the Lord Jesus clothed in a white garment. One hand [was] raised in the gesture of blessing, the other was touching the garment at the breast. From beneath the garment, slightly drawn aside at the breast, there were emanating two large rays, one red, the other pale. In silence I kept my gaze fixed on the Lord; my soul was struck with awe, but also with great joy. After a while, Jesus said to me, Paint an image according to the pattern you see, with the signature: Jesus, I trust in You. I desire that this image be venerated, first in your chapel, and [then] throughout the world.
48. I promise that the soul that will venerate this image will not perish. I also promise victory over [its] enemies already here on earth, especially at the hour of death. I Myself will defend it as My own glory.
49. When I told this to my confessor (note29), I received this for a reply: “That refers to your soul.” He told me, “Certainly, pain God’s image in your soul.” When I came out of the confessional, I again heard words such as these: My image already is in your soul. I desire that there be a Feast of Mercy. I want this image, which you will paint with a brush, to be solemnly blessed on the first Sunday after Easter; that Sunday is to be the Feast of Mercy.
50. + I desire that priests proclaim this great mercy of Mine towards souls of sinners. Let the sinner not be afraid to approach Me. The flames of mercy are burning Me – clamoring to be spent; I want to pour them out upon these souls.
Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts].