Sixth Notebook – Paragraphs 1711-1720
1711. When I was left alone with the Blessed Virgin, She instructed me concerning the interior life. She said, The soul’s true greatness is in loving God and in humbling oneself in His presence, completely forgetting oneself and believing oneself to be nothing, because the Lord is great, but He is well-pleased only with the humble, He always opposes the proud.
1712. A certain person whom I have mentioned before visited me again. When I saw that she was beginning to get entangled in her own lies, I let he know that I knew she was lying. She became very embarrassed and stopped speaking. Then I spoke to her about the great judgments of God, and I also remarked that she was leading innocent souls astray and along dangerous roads. I uncovered before her everything that was in her heart. Since I had to overcome my own feelings in order to talk to her, to prove to Jesus that I love my enemies, I gave her my afternoon snack. She went away enlightened in soul, but action is still far away …
1713. There are times when the Lord Jesus fulfills my smallest wishes. Today I remarked that I would like to see some ears of grain, but that they cannot be seen from our sanatorium. However, one of the patients heard this remark and, on the following day, he went out into the field and brought me several beautiful ears of grain. My room is always adorned with fresh flowers, but my spirit finds satisfaction in nothing. More and more, I year for God.
1714. Today I interceded earnestly with the Lord Jesus for our house, that He might deign to take away the cross which has touched our convent. (note252) The Lord answered me, Your prayers are accepted for other intentions. I cannot take away this cross until they recognize its meaning. Nevertheless, I did not stop praying.
1715. A strong temptation. The Lord gave me to know how pleasing a pure heart is to Him, and thereby I was given a deeper knowledge of my own misery. When I began to prepare for confession, strong temptations against confessors assaulted me. I did not see Satan, but I could sense him, his terrible anger. – “Yes, he’s an ordinary man.” – “Not ordinary, because he has the power of God.” – Yes, it is not difficult for me to accuse myself of my sins. But to uncover the most secret depths of my heart, to give an account of the action of God’s grace, to speak about God’s every demand, about all that goes on between God and myself…. To tell that to a man is beyond my strength. I felt I was fighting against the powers and I cried out: “O Christ, You and the priest are one; I will approach confession as if I were approaching, not a man, but You.” When I entered the confessional, I began by disclosing my difficulties. The priest replied that the best thing I could have done was to disclose these temptations from the outset. However, after the confession, they took flight, and my soul is enjoying peace.
1716. Once during recreation, one of the sister directresses said that the lay sisters were without feelings, and so could be treated stiffly. I was sorry to see that the sister directresses know so little about the lay sisters and judge them only from appearances.
1717. Today, I was talking with the Lord, and He said to me, There are souls with whom I can do nothing. They are souls that are continuously observing others, but know nothing of what is going on within their own selves. They talk about others continually, even during times of grand silence, which is reserved for speaking only with Me. Poor souls, they do not hear My words; their interior remains empty. They do not look for Me within their own hearts, but in idle talk, where I am never to be found. They sense their emptiness, but they do not recognize their own guilt, while souls in whom I reign completely are a constant source of remorse to them. Instead of correcting themselves, their hearts swell with envy, and if they do not come to their senses, they plunge in even deeper. A heart, which thus far is envious, now begins to be filled with hate. And they are already at the edge of the precipice. They are jealous of my gifts in other souls, but they themselves are unable and unwilling to accept them.
1718. To stay at Your feet, O hidden God,
Is the delight and paradise of my soul.
Here, You give me to know You, O incomprehensible One,
And You speak to me sweetly: Give Me, give Me your heart.
Silent conversation, alone with You,
Is to experience what heavenly beings enjoy,
And to say to God, “I will, I will give You my heart, O Lord,”
While You, O great and incomprehensible One, accept it graciously.
Love and sweetness are my soul’s life,
And Your unceasing presence in my soul.
I live on earth in constant rapture,
And like a Seraph I repeat, “Hosanna!”
O You Who are hidden, body, soul and divinity,
Linder the fragile form of bread,
You are my life from Whom springs an abundance of graces;
And, for me, You surpass the delights of heaven.
When you unite Yourself with me in Communion, O God,
I then feel my unspeakable greatness,
A greatness which flows from You, O Lord, I humbly confess,
And despite my misery, with Your help, I can become a saint.
1719. + During Holy Mass, I came to know that a certain priest does not effect much in souls because he thinks about himself and so is alone. God’s grace takes flight; he relies on trifling external things, which have no importance in the eyes of God; and, being proud, he fritters away his time, wearing himself out to no purpose.
1720. There are moments when Jesus gives me knowledge within my soul, and then everything that exists on earth is at my service: friends, enemies, success, adversity…. All things, willing or not, must serve me. I do not think of them at all; I strive to be faithful to God and to love Him to the point of complete forgetfulness of self. And He Himself looks after me and fights against my enemies.