Forth Notebook – Paragraphs 1281-1290
1281. The Lord made known to me that I would see my brother [Stanley (note211)], but I could not understand how this would happen or why he should come to visit me. I knew that God had given him the grace of a religious vocation, but why should he be coming to visit me? However, I put aside these thoughts and believed that if the Lord had given me to know he would come, that was enough for me. I fixed my thoughts on God, putting aside every preoccupation with creatures and entrusting everything to the Lord.
1282. + When the same poor people come to the gate a second time, I treat them with greater gentleness, and I do not let them see that I know they have been here before; [I do this] in order not to embarrass them. And then they speak to me freely about their troubles and needs.
Although Sister N. tells me that is not the way to deal with beggars, and slams the door in their faces, when she is not there, I treat them as my Master would. Sometimes more is given when giving nothing, than when giving much in a rude manner.
1283. Often the Lord gives me interior knowledge concerning the persons I meet at the gate. One pitiable soul wanted to tell me a bit about herself. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I made her understand, in a delicate way, the miserable condition of her soul. She went away with a better disposition.
1284. September 17, [1937.] O Jesus, I see so much beauty scattered around me, beauty for which I give you constant thanks. But I see that some souls are like stone, always cold and unfeeling. Even miracles hardly move them. Their eyes are always fixed on their feet, and so they see nothing but themselves.
1285. You have surrounded my life with Your tender and loving care, more than I can comprehend, for I will understand Your goodness in its entirety only when the veil is lifted. I desire that my whole life be but one act of thanksgiving to You, O God.
1286. + Thank You, O God, for all the graces
Which unceasingly You lavish upon me,
Graces which enlighten me with the brilliance of the sun,
For by them You show me the sure way.
Thank You, O Lord, for creating me,
For calling me into being from nothingness,
For imprinting Your divinity on my soul,
The work of sheer merciful love.
Thank You, O God, for Holy Baptism
Which engrafted me into Your family,
A gift great beyond all thought or expression
Which transforms my soul.
Thank You, O Lord, for Holy Confession,
For that inexhaustible spring of great mercy,
For that inconceivable fountain of graces
In which sin-tainted souls become purified.
Thank You, O Jesus, for Holy Communion
In which You give us Yourself.
I feel Your Heart beating within my breast
As You cause Your divine life to unfold within me.
Thank You, O Holy Spirit, for the Sacrament of Confirmation,
Which dubs me Your knight
And gives strength to my soul at each moment,
Protecting me from evil.
Thank You, O God, for the grace of a vocation
For being called to serve you alone,
Leading me to make You my sole love,
An unequal honor for my soul.
Thank You, O Lord, for perpetual vows,
For that union of pure love,
For having deigned to unite Your pure heart with mine
And uniting my heart to Yours in the purest of bonds.
Thank You, O Lord, for the Sacrament of Anointing
Which, in my final moments, will give me strength;
My help in battle, my guide to salvation,
Fortifying my soul till we rejoice forever.
Thank You, O God, for all the inspirations
That Your goodness lavishes upon me,
For the interior lights given my soul,
Which the heart senses, but words cannot express.
Thank You, O Holy Trinity, for the vastness of the graces
Which You have lavished on me unceasingly through life.
My gratitude will intensify as the eternal dawn rises,
When, for the first time, I sing to Your glory.
1287. + Despite the peace in my soul, I fight a continuous battle with the enemy of my soul. More and more, I am discovering his traps, and the battle flares up anew. During interludes of calm, I exercise myself and keep watch, lest the enemy find me unprepared. And when I see his great fury, I stay inside the stronghold; that is, the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.
1288. September 19, , Today, the Lord told me, My daughter, write that it pains Me very much when religious souls receive the Sacrament of Love merely out of habit, as if they did not distinguish this food. I find neither faith nor love in their hearts. I go to such souls with great reluctance. It would be better if they did not receive Me.
1289. Most sweet Jesus, set on fire my love for You and transform me into Yourself. Divinize me that my deeds may be pleasing to You. May this be accomplished by the power of the Holy Communion which I receive daily. Oh, how greatly I desire to be wholly transformed into You, O Lord!
1290. September 19, 1937. Today my own brother Stanley, visited me. I rejoiced greatly in this beautiful soul, who also intends to devote himself to God’s service. That is to say, God Himself is drawing him to His love. We talked for a long time about God, about His goodness. During this conversation with him, I learned how pleasing his soul was to God. I received permission from Mother Superior to see him more often. When he asked my advice about entering religion, I replied, “Surely you know best what God is asking of you.” I mentioned the Jesuit Order, but said, “Enter wherever you like.” I promised to pray for him, and I decided to make a novena to the Sacred Heart through the intercession of Father Peter Skaraa with the promise of having it announced in the Messenger of the Sacred Heart , (note212) because he is having great difficulties in this matter. I understood that, in this case, prayer was more useful than advice.