Third Notebook – Paragraphs 1031-1040
1031. March 22, 1937. As I was talking, today, to a certain person, I recognized that she was suffering greatly in spirit, although exteriorly she pretended that she was very happy and was not suffering at all. I felt inspired to tell her that what was troubling her was a temptation. When I disclosed to her what was torturing her, she burst into tears and told me that she had come to see me precisely to speak to me, because she felt that it would bring her relief. The suffering was of such a kind that the soul was being attracted by God’s grace on the one hand and by the world on the other. She was going through a terrible struggle that brought her to the point of weeping like a little child. But she went away soothed and set at peace.
1032. + During Holy Mass, I saw the Lord Jesus nailed upon the cross amidst great torments. A soft moan issued from His Heart. After some time, He said, I thirst. I thirst for salvation of souls. Help Me, My daughter, to save souls. Join your sufferings to My Passion and offer them to the heavenly Father for sinners.
1033. + When I see that the burden is beyond my strength, I do not consider or analyze it or probe into it, but I run like a child to the Heart of Jesus and say only one word to Him: “You can do all things.” And then I keep silent, because I know that Jesus Himself will intervene in the matter, and as for me, instead of tormenting myself, I use that time to love Him.
1034. Monday of Holy Week. I asked the Lord to let me take part in His Sorrowful Passion that I might experience in soul and body, to the extent that this is possible for a creature, His bitter Passion. I asked to experience all the bitterness, in so far as this was possible. And the Lord answered that He would give me this grace, and that on Thursday, after Holy Communion, He would grant this in a special way.
1035. + This evening, a certain young man was dying; he was suffering terribly. For his intention, I began to say the chaplet which the Lord had taught me. I said it all, but the agony continued. I wanted to start the Litany of the Saints, but suddenly I heard the words, Say the chaplet. I understood that the soul needed the special help of prayers and great mercy. And so I locked myself in my room and fell prostrate before God and begged for mercy upon that soul. Then I felt the great majesty of God and His great justice. I trembled with fear, but did not stop begging the Lord’s mercy for that soul. Then I took the cross off my breast, the crucifix I had received when making my vows, (note180) and I put it on the chest of the dying man and said to the Lord, “Jesus, look on this soul with the same love with which You looked on my holocaust on the day of my perpetual vows, and by the power of the promise which You made to me in respect to the dying and those who would invoke Your mercy on them, [grant this man the grace of a happy death].” His suffering then ceased, and he died peacefully. Oh, how much we should pray for the dying! Let us take advantage of mercy while there is still time for mercy.
1036. + I realize more and more how much every soul needs God’s mercy throughout life and particularly at the hour of death. This chaplet mitigates God’s anger, as He Himself told me.
1037. + I find myself so weak that were it not for Holy Communion I would fall continually. One thing alone sustains me, and that is Holy Communion. From it I draw my strength; in it is all my comfort. I fear life on days when I do not receive Holy Communion. I fear my own self. Jesus concealed in the Host is everything to me. From the tabernacle I draw strength, power, courage and light. Here, I seek consolation in time of anguish. I would not know how to give glory to God if I did not have the Eucharist in my heart.
1038. + My beloved native land, Poland, if you only knew how many sacrifices and prayers I offer to God for you! But be watchful and give glory to God, who lifts you up and singles you out in a special way. But know how to be grateful.
1039. + I suffer great pain at the sight of the sufferings of others. All these sufferings are reflected in my heart. I carry their torments in my heart so that it even wears me out physically. I would like all pains to fall upon me so as to bring relief to my neighbor.
1040. Amid terrible torments, I fix my eyes on You, my God, and though a storm is gathering over my head, I know that the sun is not extinguished. Nor do I wonder at the deceitfulness of creatures, but I accept in advance whatever may happen. My lips are silent, while my ears are satiated with derision. I strive for silence in my heart amidst the greatest sufferings, and I protect myself against all attacks with the shield of Your Name.