Second Notebook – Paragraphs 861-870
J.M.J. Jesus, I trust in You
+ Resolutions for the year 1937, day 1, month 1.
861. Particular exam: remains the same; namely, to unite myself with the Merciful Christ (that is; what would Christ do in such and such a case?) and, in spirit, to embrace the whole world, especially Russia and Spain.
I. Strict observance of silence – interior silence.
II. To see the image of God in every sister; all love of neighbor must flow from this motive.
III. To do the will of God faithfully at every moment of my life and to live this.
IV. To give a faithful account of everything to the spiritual director and not to undertake anything of importance without a clear understanding with him. I shall try to clearly lay bare to him the most secret depths of my soul, bearing in mind that I am dealing with God Himself, and that His representative is just a human being, and so I must pray daily that he be given light.
V. During the evening examination of conscience, I am to ask myself the question: What if He were to call me today?
VI. Not to look for God for away, but within my own being to abide with Him alone.
VII. In sufferings and torments, to take refuge in the tabernacle and to be silent.
VIII. To join all sufferings, prayers, works and mortifications to the merits of Jesus in order to obtain mercy for the world.
IX. To use free moments, however short, for prayers for the dying.
X. There must not be a day in my life when I do not recommend to the Lord the works of our Congregation. Never have regard for what others think of you [for human respect].
XI. Have no familiar relationships with anyone. Gentle firmness toward the girls, boundless patience; punish them severely but with such punishments as these: prayer and self-sacrifice. The strength that is in the emptying of myself for their sake is for them a constant remorse and the softening of their obdurate hearts.
XII. The presence of God is the basis of all my thoughts, words and deeds.
XIII. To take advantage of all spiritual help. To always put self-love in its proper place; namely, the last. To perform my spiritual exercises as though I were doing them for the last time in my life, and in like manner to carry out all my duties.
862. January 2, , The Name of Jesus. Oh, how great is Your Name, O Lord! It is the strength of my soul. When my strength fails, and darkness invades my soul, Your Name is the sun whose rays give light and also warmth, and under their influence the soul becomes more beautiful and radiant, taking its splendor from Your Name. When I hear the sweetest name of Jesus, my heartbeat grows stronger, and there are times when, hearing the Name of Jesus, I fall into a swoon. My spirit eagerly strains toward Him.
863. This is a particularly important day for me. On this day I made my first visit connected with the painting of the Image. (note160) On this day, the Divine Mercy received special external honor for the first time, although it has been known for a long time, but here it was in the form that the Lord had requested. This day of the sweet Name of Jesus reminds me of many special graces.
864. January 3. The Mother Superior of the Congregation that serves this hospital visited me today, together with one of her sisters. (note161) For a long while, we talked about spiritual matters. I recognized in her great ascetic, and so our conversation was pleasing to God.
Today a girl came to see me. I saw that she was suffering, but not so much in body as in soul. I comforted her as much as I could, but my words of consolation were not enough. She was a poor orphan with a soul plunged in bitterness and pain. She opened her soul to me and told me everything. I understood that, in this case, simple words of consolation would not be enough. I fervently interceded with the Lord for that soul and offered Him my joy so that He would give it to her and take all feeling of joy away from me. And the Lord heard my prayer: I was left only with the consolation that she had been consoled.
865. Adoration. First Sunday of the month. During adoration, I felt so strongly urged to act that I burst into tears and said to the Lord, “Jesus, do not urge me, but give this inspiration to those who You know are delaying the work.” And I heard these words: My daughter, be at peace; it will not be long now.
866. During Vespers, I heard these words: My daughter, I want to repose in your heart, because many souls have thrown Me out of their hearts today. I have experienced sorrow unto death. I tried to comfort the Lord, by offering Him my love a thousand times over. I felt, within my soul, a great disgust for sin.
867. + My heart is steeped in continual bitterness, because I want to go to You, Lord, into the fullness of life. O Jesus, what a dreadful wilderness this life seems to me! There is on this earth no nourishment for either my heart or my soul. I suffer because of my longing for You, O Lord. You have left me the Sacred Host, O Lord, but it enkindles in my soul an even greater longing for You, O my Creator and Eternal God! Jesus, I yearn to become united with You. Deign to hear the sighs of Your dearly beloved. Oh, how I suffer because I am still unable to be united with You. But let it be done according to Yours wishes.
868. January 5, 1937. This evening, I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko] who was in need of prayer for a certain matter. I prayed fervently because the matter is very close to my heart as well. Thank You, Jesus, for this kindness.
869. O Jesus, have mercy! Embrace the whole world and press me to Your Heart…. O Lord, let my soul repose in the sea of Your unfathomable mercy.
870. January 6, 1937. Today during Holy Mass, I was unwittingly absorbed in the infinite majesty of God. The whole immensity of God’s love flooded my soul. At that particular moment, I became aware of how much God abases Himself for my sake. He, the Lord of lords – and what am I, miserable being that I am, that You would commune thus with me? The wonder that took hold of me after this special grace continued very vividly throughout the entire day. Taking advantage of the intimacy to which the Lord was admitting me, I interceded before Him for the whole world. At such moments I have the feeling that the whole world is depending on me.